Ted - Almost as good as an Apache Helecopter

Ted

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Seth McFarlane, Mila Kunis, Joel McHale, Giovanni Ribisi

Directed by: Seth McFarlane

Best Moment: Ted’s house party; ‘DEATH TO MING!’

Worst Moment: Wahlberg’s flashback is weak. And anything to do with Family Guy.

A Teddy Bear magically coming to life? It’s a dream come true! But wait; it’s voiced by Seth McFarlane, creator of BBC’s favourite excuse to cancel programming Family Guy? Oh ho, I can see where this is going! Que 100 minutes of pot smoking, 9/11 joking mayhem, tied up with a cheesy little bromance. Cut and print, job done.

This’ll probably be your expectation walking into this summer’s mid-blockbuster comedy, but if that’s the case you’ll be walking home disappointed. Because Seth McFarlane has made the surprising move of turning his first feature into a fairly sweet little film, which puts its story in front of the crudeness; though admittedly with mixed results. 

Like many long term fans of McFarlane, I’ve struggled to enjoy his ‘work’ over the last few years. I say ‘work’ because it feels like he barely has a presence in the making of Family Guy anymore. Long gone are the glorious post-cancelation days of ‘North by North Quahog’ (one of only two episodes he’s ever actually written) and instead we have endless plot about Brian and Stewie making gay jokes. And abortion. His touch has faded, and while American Dad and Cleveland Show often bring the funny, the Griffin’s family adventures are long past their heyday.

But McFarlane has gone the opposite way with his first stab at live action (the Winner aside... ewwwww). Plot comes first here, and after a cute little riffing on 80’s kids films (with the addition of ‘beat the Jew’ day) we're put straight into a classic Third Wheel romance story, with sexy Mila Kunis demanding Mark Wahlberg sort his life out and stop hanging around with a teddy bear. It’s nothing groundbreaking, but the characters and situations are likeable. Wahlberg uses a great OTT Boston accent throughout (seemingly for no reason but hey ho) and Kunis mills about in the low budget girlfriend roll that’s made her career. But of course, we don’t really want to hear about these two. It’s all about Ted. And I love him.

Ted is by far the best CGI character to be in a movie post-Gollum. Despite occasional Peter-isms, he soon turns into a likeable, three dimensional character and we never feel he isn't part of the real world. He's infinitely superior to the thematically similar Paul (from... Paul), by very rarely being an asshole. He’s a great creation, and is never used in the in-your-face manner you’d expect from the trailers.  With his two co-stars (and Community’s Joel McHale, who sadly isn’t quite as funny as he could be), we have ourselves a great little comedy. It’s a little over long, but still a refreshing change from the Hangover clones and Wedding Reception fodder.

Sadly, McFarlane’s solid effort will be undermined by the shadow of his other success. As the advertising keeps telling us, this is from the creator of Family Guy; so of course the film is stuffed with nods and similar subject matter to his cartoon. Whether it’s Patrick ‘Joe Swanson’ Warburton playing Wahlberg’s gay co-worker, or Stewie Griffin’s voice being given to a middle age fish, we constantly hammered with reminders of the cartoon. Once or twice it’s done brilliantly; there’s a funny ‘cut-away’ style gag involving a prostitute’s ... leavings. But most of the time, it’s an awkward 9/11 joke, or even Ted mentioning Peter Griffin himself. It’s very distracting, and never really funny. It actually damages the enjoyment of the film, reminding you that you’re not watching the all out crude reference fest you were expecting, but something a little more subdued; a little frustrating if that isn’t what you enjoy. 

I wish McFarlane had cut these ties, especially as Ted does an ample job of delivering his trademark hot button one liners and references. And all without being the one dimensional douchebag Peter, Cleveland and even Stan can often be. The Peter-isms place a lens over the movie, disfiguring some of the great directing work he’s managed to put in (the hotel fight scene is a standout; it’s the brutal Bourne Identity/Care Bears crossover we’ve been waiting for!). His next film should defiantly be something further from the well.

So long as you go into the theater without the stigma of Family Guy, you’ll find Ted to be a cute, funny film with a solid heart. It’s not to over the top or crude (baring two occasions) and has some genuinely hilarious moments that it would be unfair to spoil here. Great job Seth!

4/5 (Four Apache Helicopters out of Five)