Transformers; Dark of the Moon: We're idiots, but happy idiots.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a film you already know if you’re going to like or not. It's will never be seen as a good movie by either critics or the internet supernerds that jointly decide on which films are 'worthy or not'. But where it excels, it excels wonderfully. The action sequences are well thought out, well directed and feature genuinely exciting 3D. It is perhaps the ultimate Giant Robots smashing things up movie of all time. And if that's you cup of tea, you’ll get your monies worth at the box office.

Big battle aside, the rest of the film is clearly lacking. The acting is in general weak, which I think maybe down to the confusing script rather than lack of effort; poor Mr Shia LeBeouf is once again starring in a film that squanders not only his own talents, but those of his co-stars; John Malkovich, John Turturro, Patrick Dempsey; non of them walk away without the careers in some way crapped upon. Only Frances McDormand puts in a good turn as a strict government agent, but honestly, she's not even bringing her B game, let alone her A. But whilst the co-stars were undoubtedly in it for the money, and their careers will bounce back immediately. But Shia needed this gig. After the horrific Revenge of the Fallen, and the Unloved Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, he really needs to get out of the blockbuster business if he going to save his face in a industry that once calling him 'the new Tom Hanks'. 

But the film for the most part is just another round of what come before in the Transformers franchise. There's a great big alien super weapon that the baddy robots are invading Earth to get; the good robots fight them, but for some reason the plot centres on Army dudes and Shia and (INSERT WHORE HERE). Now in the first film, I think this approach works well; the coming of age plot, teenage troubles, and the comedy secondary cast are nice interludes between the CGI intergalactic sludge matches. But here, any elements besides the Robot fighting are detrimental to the viewing experience. There's talk of conspiracies, 'funny' side characters (such as Alan Tudyk as a gay Nazi, which sounds a lot funnier than it actually is) and a general attempt to give Shia another coming of age story where he tries to get his first job.

But really, screw all that. By halfway, you just don't care anymore. It's enjoyable enough, watching the shady political dealings and horrors of meeting your girlfriends better-looking boss, but you just can't connect with what on screen.

But interestingly enough, the film's makers seems to get bored too. And, almost exactly half way through the movie, the tone of the film completely changes. Within ten minutes, a load of major characters are shown to be traitors; Blank-Whore girl is kidnapped; Chicago is bombed into nothingness; and suddenly the entire plot had been removed, and all that’s left now is for Giant Robots to pound the crap out of each other.

Thank freaking goodness. With all the flab of the first two acts ejected, Michael Bay actually starts to make a movie that plays to his directorial strengths. Sure, this is basically explosions and gun porn for an hour. But actually, the amount of work he puts into to big battle really pays off. From an incredible set piece of a giant robot snake tearing down a skyscraper, to Optimus Prime equipped with Jetpack, Machinegun, Axe, Sword, Shotgun and Knuckle Duster tearing into enemy bots, to an absolutely fantastic scene of troops freefalling through the crumbling city, this hour long battle is so well made, you won't mind that you've just paid £7.50 to watch Shia moan for an hour and a half. Hell, even the 3D is incredible; the first film I've seen since Avatar which insists to be shown with a third dimension.

And really that's what this film boils down too. The chance to see the best robot smashdown in cinema history. It doesn't make this a good movie by any stretch of the imagination. But it certainly will leave you in a state of brain damaged euphoria until something smart comes out.